For any of you that have been following My Little Mummy Blog for a while will know that I have 3 kids.
A boy who is 13, a girl who is 12 and a baby, Bobby who is 16 months.
Lately, I have been overwhelmed with the question of when is the right time?…
For Bobby its been, when is the right time to drop a nap, when is the right time to let him feed himself, when is the right time for him to move out of his cot? Etc. etc.
These questions don’t bother me too much as these are things I have learned to follow my Mummy instinct on, paired with some research and Thank God so far it has worked out ok, so I have no doubt it will continue to figure itself out. In saying that, I have also no doubt that I and we will continue to make mistakes, but we will learn.
The questions I find harder to answer are the ones involving our older kids.
This is in part due to the fact that at 12 and 13, I feel they are very important decisions because as young teenagers these “decisions” as parents we make, can have a huge impact on the type of teenager and hence young adults our kids will become.
For her, its things like make-up, when should it be ok for her to wear make up outside of the house? She loves playing with it at home but lately she wants to wear some out and about, is 12 too young?
I think so but maybe I am wrong?
Cropped tops, ripped jeans, clothes questions in general, when is the right time to let her express herself through her clothing the way she would like?
As a fashion lover myself, I know how lovely it is to feel nice in your clothes and to enjoy fashion, trends, explore your personal style etc. but is 12 too young for that?
For him, its things like, watching inappropriate shows on Netflix. He is 13, will he be seeing worse things on his phone, snapchat etc… Should we just let him watch it or put a total ban on it?
I find its hard as a parent to answer these questions because you don’t want to cross the line being too strict as you want to keep the lines of communication open for your kids to feel they can come and talk to you but, yet you are their parent after all and it is us the parents that must protect them and show them the way.
I think I would prefer to veer on the side of being too strict rather than too lenient because you can always give a little as you go but I feel its probably much more difficult to do the opposite.
Do you struggle with this “When is the right time?” question as a parent and how do you decide?
Do you talk to other Mums and Dads and find out what their peers are up to? If you do, do you pick a child you perceive to be very well behaved and follow their example or how do you choose who?
Do you ask friends or family that have been there already?
Do you ask your own Mum and Dad what they did with you?
I know I wasn’t allowed go to a teenage disco when I was younger that everyone else in my class was allowed go to, so I snuck there. I stayed in my friend’s house and went to the disco. I don’t want my kids doing that.
However, I always felt I could talk to my parents too about anything (bar the disco), so how did they get the right mix?
I would love to hear your thoughts. xoxo